picture this // life according to my iPhone

hi! here are some pictures. I'm not going to say a lot of words. 

just let you look and move on.

 like a museum! I love museums. 

okay. no more words. xoxo!

my favorite guy

my critter

love you guys!

back to school // plans = ruined

hi, friends.

classes at UCM started yesterday, the 19th, a Tuesday. 

I somehow managed to build a schedule with no classes on Tuesdays - something I'm not complaining about.

so today, Wednesday the 20th, was the first day of my second year at UCM. 

it did not go as planned.

 I fell in love with school and learning at a young age.

back to school shopping was THE BEST. 

new pencils, notebooks, binders, etc.? ugh. my favorite. 

I love planning cute outfits to wear. for church, school, girl's night, etc. 

if there's something to plan what will look good - I'm all up on it.

I had picked out a skirt and cute tank top I would wear for my first day back on campus.

I planned on waking up in time to shower. (hahahaha)

I had planned to go by Starbucks and get an iced coffee as a "yay! school!" motivator.

I had planned and planned and LIFE (the villian in this story) was like, 

"that's what you think!"

sidenote: I recently met a guy, we'll say his name is Chad (his name is not really Chad) and we had gone on a couple of dates/outings. he is a super great guy, super funny, we got along really well, he met the parentals and it wasn't weird, he got my sarcasm and weird sense of humor, he's really attractive, it was going really well, blah blah blah.

Chad and I had made plans to see each other this coming Friday - yay, date! 

LIFE stepped in and was like, "ha! we'll see about that!"

this morning I woke up to a "we shouldn't go on any more dates" text. 

he was honest, respectful, and still a really nice guy at the same time saying 

"we're gonna be done before we even started, hope that's okay."

 it threw off my whole day. 

some people may say "well you weren't even exclusive" but hey, 

I'm human and we are allowed to feel. 

I am not weak for feeling let down, bummed, or a little ticked off. 

(and you are not weak for ever feeling those feels, either.)

so after waking up (late) to that, I had to rush to get ready.

the skirt and cute tank top did not happen. 

leggings and another tank top happened. 

a shower certainly didn't happen - thank Jesus for headbands.

Starbucks was so far out of the question it wasn't even a thought anymore. 

I was so frustrated. I drove the 30 miles to school with that stupid

"I feel like I'm going to cry at any moment" thing stuck in my throat, I listened to Jesus music, and prayed that I wouldn't snap at anyone who talked to me at school (oh don't worry, no one did.)

when I got to school I was rushed. I hate being rushed. I hate being late. 

Especially on the first day of a class - everyone turns and looks at you with their judging eyes. I've practiced my "I don't care that I'm late - I was out being awesome" face in the mirror. 

I definitely used it this morning. 

my first class (Career Development for Students with Disabilities aka "Party Time!") 

went by smoothly. 

it's a 50 minute class so it feels like you get there and then it's time to go. 

Next on the agenda was a trip to the bookstore.

I had a backpack full of books that I needed to return/sell back so I stood in line for about 20 minutes before I realized everyone else had receipts in their hands - I had been so distracted by The Text when I was getting ready that I hadn't even thought about grabbing it. I had to get out of line. One of those moments where I felt like everyone was watching me - when in reality the girl behind me was probably the only one who noticed. 

my next class wasn't until 2:00 so I had a chunk of time to kill. 

I went and found a seat at a table to breathe and listen to some music. 

when you have no friends and have to sit alone, music helps drown out the noise of others and allows your brain to rest. I reach into my bag for my headphones and my stomach sinks when I realize that they are at home - in the cute little basket where I keep headphones. I audibly groan, causing the girls at the end of the table to give me the look of "wow, that girl is ca-razy." 

I was so upset with myself - "really, Hannah? that's the one thing that could have helped you today!" 

I angrily eat my lunch I brought from home. drink my diet coke. people watch. 

I calmed down all over again - hard work. 

there was one thing that could be accomplished - picking up my parking permit. 

this made me feel less heavy. I drove to Parking Services, got my tag, and went to see Brie - a friend from church who lives in Warrensburg. 

we went to a mexican place, talked about life, and ate chips. 

she listened to my complaints and it helped a lot. 

a lot of times that's all we humans need - someone to listen. 

someone to nod their head, make those listening noises, etc.

Brie was excellent at that :)

I got to my 2:00 early, got a good seat, and settled in to learn about how much we're going to learn in World Masterpieces - a literature class. because I love to read and have an interest in history, I think I'm going to enjoy the class. it's going to be a lot of work - but a challenge is nice!

then it was time to go home. the thought of it made me sigh a huge sigh of relief. 

I stopped by Sonic for a cherry diet coke - a must. 

then drove home to Monster :)

I went to the pool for a little bit - had it all to myself - and actually got in all the way. 

*the crowd gasps*

I know, I know. 

swimming, pushing the water out of my way, going from one end to the other was just what my mind needed. 

after dinner mom and I went out and got manicures - a nice little "I'm sorry boys are silly" pick-me-up.

that lady is sweet. also a little clumsy with fresh paint on her nails :)

as I'm sitting here in bed after this day I can now say that I survived. 

at 9:45 this morning on the way to school I honestly didn't know if I was going to. 

but I was constantly reminded that Jesus was with me every step of the journey today. 

He kept reminding me that this was just a bad day.

 there are more days to come. 

there are more sunshines, sunsets, smiles, and tears. 

and for that? I am so thankful. 

so thankful that His still, small voice was cheering me on. 

"I'm on your side!" 

"I'm Team Hannah!" 

that's my God. my Father. my Beloved. 

I have been distant lately - we both know it - and yet He's still there, just like He is every day, 

rooting for me. blessing me, loving me, teaching me. 

and that, my friends, is exactly the way He has planned it. 

xoxo,

H

Once Upon a Time...

as our beloved friend Sebastian the crab from The Little Mermaid said oh so eloquently, 

"the human world...it's a mess."

a'int that the truth. 

our world..our nation..even our state is a wreck.

I was originally planning on writing about Robin Williams' death. I was going to selfishly remind you about my own journey through the dark tunnel that is depression. I was going to remind you of the things people who suffer from depression HATE to hear. I was going to give you the perfect and simple tools on how to be a good friend to someone who is Sad. (capital S because I hate overusing the word "depressed.") But I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to keep shoving words about this awful thing down your throat like so many people on social media networks have done (myself included..) 

Instead? I'm going to tell you a funny story. you may not actually laugh out loud..but if you crack a tiny smirk? that's better than reading an article and walking away feeling like someone punched you in the stomach/soul. (that's how I've felt for the past few days.)

Okay so growing up my best friend Jessica and I did pretty much everything together. one summer we went on a trip to the great state of Iowa to see and spend time with her grandparents that live there. there are many parts of this trip that I will never forget - an INSANE amount of flower gardens, sleeping (kinda) in the back seat of their truck with my legs intertwined with Jessica's, giggling at night listening to grandparent snores that LITERALLY sounded like a chain saw, etc. 

the one event that I will NEVER forget happened the day her grandparents dropped us off at a small water park for the afternoon. we were so excited. FREEDOM! we made the rules, we decided what to do, and we got to flirt* with cute boys.

*stare awkwardly at boys until they caught us staring then giggling and looking away*

*also kind of follow them around at a safe distance but act like we weren't*

we felt so old, independent, and ALIVE.

the park had a wave pool - so fun! so we hung out in the wave pool when we weren't going down slides or following cute boys. if you paid extra, you got a wristband and you could use an inner tube in the wave pool. we did not have wristbands, but because we were on our own, making our own rules, we decided to REBEL and surreptitiously float on a tube with our wrists in the water so the lifeguards couldn't see that we in fact, did not have permission to use the tubes. 

living LIFE on the EDGE, people. 

as brilliant as our wrist-in-water plan was, it did not work. we got caught and yelled at which I absolutely hated. so we were now Those Girls. the Fugitives. 

we decided to stay in the pool and just swim around. at one point I decided to start being a mermaid - duh - and began diving in and out of the water picturing my wildly beautiful fin behind me. 

Ariel would have been SO jealous of my sweet mermaid moves. 

the next 2 minutes (probably not even that long) are going to be burned into my memory for the rest of life. 

I was under the water. swimmin' along, feeling the simulated waves push and pull me through the water. I had my eyes closed - I hated when they would get red from the chlorine - and I was just the happiest little mermaid. the need for air came upon me so I started to swim toward the surface. (as I'm sitting here typing these words I am literally giggling from the absurdity of what happened next.) I can tell I'm almost to the surface when I feel myself having to push against something. in my head I'm thinking, "oh I must be right in the middle of a fake wave and that's making it more difficult. I should just keep pushing because man, I need to breathe." so I go with my gut and keep. on. pushing.

when I get to the top of the water, open my eyes, and look around I am super confused. right in front of me are a pair of swim trunks/legs that are attached to the torso of a boy my age. behind his torso I see the yellow colored inner tube that Jess and I tried to float on earlier. then I see that the torso is connected to a head of one of the cute boys were flirted(ish) with earlier. then I see the look on his face that read, "what are you doing?" then I hear his words, 

"ummm.....I was here first."

I was in his inner tube. my head had popped up from the water INSIDE HIS INNER TUBE. he had just been laying in his tube, enjoying the push and pull of the fake waves, when suddenly this girl's head POPS UP FROM THE WATER INSIDE HIS TUBE. 

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "mortify" is defined as "subject to severe and vexing embarrassment." there could also be another definition added - 

"like the time Hannah Morgan's head popped up in cute boy's inner tube"

I don't really remember what I said to him. I probably stuttered an apology. I then quickly went back under water and desperately searched for Jessica and my dignity. 

I found Jessica.

///

I tell you this story because I still crack up just thinking about it. 

I tell you this because it truly is my most embarrassing moment, and sometimes it's good to be vulnerable and be open about the times you wanted to crawl into a hole and live there the rest of your life out of sheer humiliation. 

I also tell you this to hopefully lighten your day/afternoon/evening.

 I hope that you laughed or least smiled. 

I love making people laugh. I think besides showing people the love of Jesus, teaching, and being the best mom to Monster, making people laugh is one of the most important life goals I have. 

I love you. Please go have a fantastic day. if the headlines, articles, etc. get too heavy for you - take a break. put your phone down. log off Facebook. go outside. take a deep breath. think of 3 things you are thankful for, and then move forward. I'm definitely going to try it! 

xoxo,

H

sweet moments // summer's end

hello, friends.

um, so summer is almost done? what? I'm only really okay with this fact because:
a. I love Fall (scarves, boots, smell of a bonfire, new school supplies, etc.)
b. my birthday is coming up (okay, it's in October but it's closer than it was last month!)

today was a joyous day in the House of Lord. I've grown to love my church family more and more. our pastor, Randall, spoke on God's Amazing Grace this morning - something that is so incredibly mind-blowing to me. come to find out, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

another great thing that happened was being able to worship with my praise team, the choir, and orchestra. our worship pastor Lee picked a great set of songs that illustrated the beauty of God's grace. I was overcome with so much JOY - something that I've been in such need of lately.

I shall now catch you up on Life's Happenings.

1. My time at Mother's Day Out came to end this past Thursday. I hugged and said goodbye to each of the little humans that have a found a special place in my heart. It's so fun to see some of them on Sunday mornings and hear "teacher! teacher!" and get more hugs! I really hope I've made an impact on their lives.

shaving cream fun!

"show me your hands!"

we iced cookies...

love their smiles!

takin' a walk

2. I have a couple more weeks with the kids I nanny. I have class on Mondays and Fridays so I won't be able to continue watching them thru the school year. I so wish I could - they're so fun and quite honestly, having that financial security is nice! They have also found a place in my heart - I will definitely volunteer my time if I'm needed on the weekends! :)

3. I begin classes on Wednesday the 20th. I have 6 classes, 16 credit hours ahead of me. Any prayers and words of encouragement are so welcomed you don't even understand! I'm excited to learn. I'm excited to be back in the classroom (I'll be in the classroom every day except Tuesday!) but as always I am anxious about the course load and amount of work. The Lord knows what is going to happen - He has gone before me...I just wish He could just get me those A's ;)

4. my best friend Bradee and I have gotten to spend some great time together these past couple of weeks. talk about a light in my life. all those cheesy quotes you read on Pinterest about best friends and how great they are? yeah. those all make sense to me because I've found my Person (Grey's Anatomy? anyone?) 

have you used the Party Party App yet? so fun.

I'll post again soon. (like, tonight) with more photos. 

thanks for reading :)

xoxo,

H